Coffee and the Disabled Vet

[TAZ]

" Coffee and the Disabled Vet "
A guy goes to the Post Office to apply for a job.
The interviewer asks him, "Are you allergic to anything?" He replies, "Yes, caffeine. I can't drink coffee."
"Ok, Have you ever been in the military service?"
"Yes," he says, "I was in Iraq for one tour."
The interviewer says, "That will give you 5 extra points toward employment." Then he asks, "Are you disabled in any way?"
The guy says, "Yes. A bomb exploded near me and I lost both my testicles."
The interviewer grimaces and then says, "Okay. You've got enough points for me to hire you right now. Our normal hours are from 8:00 am to 4:00 pm. You can start tomorrow at 10:00 am, and plan on starting at 10:00 am every day."
The guy is puzzled and asks, "If the work hours are from 8:00 am to 4:00 PM, why don't you want me here until 10:00 am?"
"This is a government contracted job", the interviewer says. "For the first two hours, we just stand around drinking coffee and scratching our balls. No point in you coming in for that."

[EvoMotors]

Funny

[cypress]

That's funny. Reminds me of a scene from Office Space.

Bob Slydell: You see, what we're trying to do is get a feeling for how people spend their time at work so if you would, would you walk us through a typical day, for you?
Peter Gibbons : Yeah.
Bob Slydell : Great.
Peter Gibbons : Well, I generally come in at least fifteen minutes late, ah, I use the side door - that way Lumbergh can't see me, heh - after that I sorta space out for an hour.
Bob Porter : Da-uh? Space out?
Peter Gibbons : Yeah, I just stare at my desk, but it looks like I'm working. I do that for probably another hour after lunch too, I'd say in a given week I probably only do about fifteen minutes of real, actual, work.
Peter Gibbons : You see, Bob, it's not that I'm lazy, it's that I just don't care.
Bob Porter : Don't- don't care?
Peter Gibbons : It's a problem of motivation, all right? Now if I work my ass off and Initech ships a few extra units, I don't see another dime, so where's the motivation? And here's another thing, I have eight different bosses right now.
Bob Porter : Eight?
Peter Gibbons : Eight, Bob. So that means when I make a mistake, I have eight different people coming by to tell me about it. That's my only real motivation is not to be hassled, that, and the fear of losing my job. But you know, Bob, that will only make someone work just hard enough not to get fired.
Bob Slydell : Would you bear with me for just a second here.
Peter Gibbons : Okay.
Bob Slydell : What if - and believe me this is hypothetical - but what if you were offered some kind of a stock option equity sharing program. Would that do anything for you?
Peter Gibbons : I don't know, I guess. Listen, I'm gonna go. It's been really nice talking to both you guys.
Bob Slydell : Absolutely, the pleasure's all on this side of the table, trust me.
Peter Gibbons : Good luck with your layoffs, all right? I hope your firings go really, really well.
Bob Porter : Excellent.
Bob Slydell : Great. Wow.