Legal Advice needed about child custody?

[CB Fury]

Well not to get to crazy into the subject but looking for a lawyer that could help me with some advice on how to handle my ex wife and my son. The ex has him alienated to the point now his grand parents go to the back of the ice rink and drive off with him on Fathers Day. Just makes not a ounce of sense. So if we have any riders out there that know California law and is willing to talk to me and may lead me in the right directions of dealing with this, I would sure appreciate it. PM please with a number I can call or let me know and I will send you mine. Thank you in advice to anyone that is able to help.

[2Woofs]

Sorry to hear this. I'm sure someone on here can help or give u guidence. Good luck!

[X_KIOWA_X]

Sorry to hear about the issues with the ex, I know it can be a pain in the butt dealing with them. Unfortunately I really can't give any advice except that my brother in law works in a law firm in TX so I don't know how much he could help or if they have contacts in CA that might be able to help, but if you're interested in talking to them let me know.

[springmaker]

I had a similar issue back in 1988 after my first divorce, multiplied four times. I really couldn't afford an attorney after child support for four kids.
My kids eventually grew up to understand the situation, and now have only limited contact with their mother. My two oldest were here with me today,
The other two live too far to visit, but of course, called to say hello.
I worked a lot of overtime, and did anything I could do to earn extra, but I was never late with support payments, and payed up every time my ex took me back to court for more. and let me tell ya, she messed with me every way she could!
I guess I'm trying to say that kids know, or will understand what is going on as they grow up. just be a dad to them when you can, as much as you can. I walked in your shoes, brother.

[BarFury]

Been there, done that. Basically, and ultimately, the best you can hope for is 50/50 time-sharing, unless you can substantiate a case, in court, that she's an unfit mother; does drugs, drinks too much, stays out partying all night, doesn't attend to and properly supervise the child, etc., etc. 'Course she and her lawyer are going to be trying to make the same case against you; lousy father, never home, always out riding his bike and drinking with his friends, pays hardly any attention to his child, was gone on his birthday, etc., etc. Sorry if I'm being a little brutal, but it can, in fact, get far worse than my brief outline. In custody cases, the courts, especially in Calif., are always biased in favor of the mother, even when she's an unfit mother. Again, sorry if I can't be more encouraging, but the reality is that you're in for some rough, gut-wrenching, heart-wrenching moments ahead. Your MOST IMPORTANT mission going forward is to show him, through your actions that, regardless of what happens, and regardless of what she or your inlaws say about you, you're still his dad and you love him dearly and he is the most important person in your life. Kids are remarkably astute and resiliant in these matters and he'll get it sorted-out for himself. Just remember, when dealing with kids, actions speak louder than words. My two-bits, FWIW....................

Cheers

[springmaker]

Originally Posted by BarFury

Your MOST IMPORTANT mission going forward is to show him, through your actions that, regardless of what happens, and regardless of what she or your inlaws say about you, you're still his dad and you love him dearly and he is the most important person in your life.
My two-bits, FWIW....................

Cheers

That is right on! He will understand growing up.

[QbanFury]

I also been there like many of you, but the best advice I can give you is "keep your cool" everything works out it self.
maybe question the State attorney child support division.

[imwright1985]

I know FL and PA a little, just try getting the best senario of custody you can, have it outlined in details about timeframes for dropoff/pickup. Depending on how she is have it in public areas only (they have camera's and employees could serve as witnesses if the other party tries playing games or making accusations) McDonalds, library,..... Be carefull about bumps and bruises on them when they leave and if the child comes back with them.

Reason I say for a detailed outline is so you know Your kid will be there between 6pm and 7pm rather than waiting all day and you know when they leave you have a time window rather than the other party playing games with late dropoffs and early pickups to skim time from you and your child. If you have to pickup and drop off the child have it offset in child support (my brother got stuck with a 2 hr drive each way and 50 bucks in gas a few times or threatened to miss a weekend with his daughter)

[CB Fury]

Thank you all for the support. It has been over a year since my son spent any time with me let alone my court appointed time. I was home short of a year and he stopped visiting and black mailed me for more time with his grandparents although the court said no. I folded and gave him what he wanted and there fore have not seen him but during the time I get to watch him on the ice playing hockey. Just really frustrating that they do everything they can to keep him hidden... I have done nothing wrong to him or his mother but it is getting really hard. She moved out of her residence over two months ago and I have no clue where she is so I am fixing to change this by the first of the month... I stopped the child support allotment and will be sending her a cashiers check via certified mail that will not be forwarded so I will just keep it in the safe when it comes back and what to hear from her... which will not be to long since she is living off my sons child support.

Well back to work and thank you all once again for the words of encouragement.

[ohiofury69]

Jsut keep your head up and be a good person thats all you can do. It will turn around!!!!